How to talk with your child about mental health
For some children going back to school is exciting, but for others it can cause apprehension and anxiety. With 1 in 5 children experiencing at least one major depressive episode per year, parents must stay on top of their child’s mental state for their success in school and their overall well-being.
Knowing what’s going on in your child or teen’s head can often be tricky, but it starts with your children knowing that open communication is welcome and that your house is a safe space for sharing vulnerable feelings.
Some parents feel that bringing up the subject of mental health can cause a problem, but the opposite is true. When you talk about mental health, you teach your children that mental health is as important as physical health and there is no stigma or shame in having challenges with anxiety, depression, or more.
Why talk about mental health?
During the last two decades, we’ve seen an unfortunate decrease in the mental health of our children. According to a CDC study, feelings of persistent hopelessness and sadness increased by 40% from 2009 to 2019. The National Survey of Children’s Health found anxiety grew by 29% and depression by 27% between 2016 and 2020. Most alarming, during the last two decades, youth suicide has increased significantly. From 2007 through 2021, suicide rates for Americans ages 10 to 24 rose 62%, according to the CDC.
Despite the increase in mental health issues in youth, the CDC found that 78% of children ages 12-17 with mental health issues received no treatment.
Warning signs
Opening the lines of communication about mental health is a smart play for all parents, regardless if your child is experiencing signs of a problem or not. Any time is a good time to start those conversations. Talking about feelings and mental health as a normal part of conversation will make it even easier for your children to come to you if they are ever struggling.
However, if you see certain behavioral signs in your child, it’s time to have a conversation immediately. Some signs to look out for include:
• Unusually sad, withdrawn or easily irritated
• Experiencing sudden overwhelming fear for no apparent reason
• Out-of-control behavior
• Severe mood swings
• Not eating, throwing up, or using laxatives to make themselves lose weight
• Using drugs or alcohol
• A drastic change in behavior or personality
• A drop in their school performance
How to start a mental health conversation
If you want to open up the lines of communication when you don’t see any particular issue, you can start a mental health conversation referencing something in the news like Simone Biles and her mental health journey or Prince Harry and his mental health foundation. This signals to your family that talking about mental health is “normal” and encouraged.
Bringing up the topic of mental health when you sense a problem can be difficult. Choose a time when you and your child’s emotions are neutral or positive and start the conversation reiterating it’s a safe space and you love and adore them. Talk about what you’ve noticed and then sit back and listen. If you’re listening more than you’re talking, you’re doing it right. Ask questions when appropriate and watch your child’s reactions. Body language might tell you more than words. Some questions to ask might include:
• Can you tell me more about what is happening?
• How does that make you feel?
• Have you had feelings like this before?
• Sometimes it helps to talk to an adult about your feelings and I’m here to listen.
• How can I help you feel better?
• Do you want to talk to someone other than me about the problems you’re facing?
• I’m worried about your safety. Can you tell me if you’ve had thoughts of harming yourself or someone else?
Getting professional help
Navigating your child’s mental health often means enlisting the help of a therapist, psychiatrist or psychologist. At SIU, we have a variety of compassionate professionals specialized in child and youth mental health. If your child needs mental health support, find a doctor today.
